a Poem by Raquel Swann
Dedicated to my friend Shellie
I sit here in this tropical paradise pondering why.
Why I feel so cold as if I am amongst frozen lakes,
falling snow, sub-zero temperatures, but why?
I certainly know what such things feel like.
Now, more than ever.
The sun soaks into my skin while
my bare feet cling to the straps
in my scandals overtop warm sand.
My body still trembles as it would if
I were naked in a gust of winter wind.
You might think me to be filled with jubilation.
You might think me to be comfortable.
While you bundle up in garment after garment
fighting the cold, you notice that a tank-top and
shorts and flip-flops suit me.
I am freezing. I am the winter.
I could be standing on the surface of the sun
if you aren’t here, there is no warmth for me.
My family, my friends – I miss you.
They always say, “Out of sight, out of mind,”
I pray I’m not out of yours.
I guess – when you are lonely
these little doubts become monsters
worthy of nightmares.