a Poem by Raquel Swann 

Dedicated to my friend Shellie


I sit here in this tropical paradise pondering why.

Why I feel so cold as if I am amongst frozen lakes,

falling snow, sub-zero temperatures, but why?

I certainly know what such things feel like.

Now, more than ever.

The sun soaks into my skin while

my bare feet cling to the straps

in my scandals overtop warm sand.

My body still trembles as it would if

I were naked in a gust of winter wind.

You might think me to be filled with jubilation.

You might think me to be comfortable.

While you bundle up in garment after garment

fighting the cold, you notice that a tank-top and

shorts and flip-flops suit me.

I am freezing. I am the winter.

I could be standing on the surface of the sun

if you aren’t here, there is no warmth for me.

My family, my friends – I miss you.

They always say, “Out of sight, out of mind,”

I pray I’m not out of yours.

I guess – when you are lonely

these little doubts become monsters

worthy of nightmares.




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