Perhaps there are some things that need to be explained about me. This is an open letter to those who may or my not understand how my mind works.
Every decision I make is fueled by emotions. In the face of sadness, I make jokes to stifle it. When angered, my tongue lashes back with vengeance. When happy, there is nothing in this world to bring me down from the clouds. When I love, it is with conviction and passion. When anxious, I enter my own mind and analyze. It is there I seek the answers.
These emotions are necessary for me to survive and thrive. Without them, I am ordinary. I do not like to be judged nor belittled for my feelings. Some people cry, I do not. I have defenses up all the time.
In reality – I do actually cry. I cry into writing. I weep into music. I purge all these feelings in other ways which I find as therapeutic as tears. If you want answers, read my blog.
As a matter of fact, those of you who read this blog make me feel better with each press of the like button. I want to create art that is relatable and emotional. I want to others to be happy in spite of my sadness.
I will do anything, say anything, write anything for you to be happy. As in real life my own feelings do not matter to me. One day I will have to face them and I shall. Until that day comes, please enjoy my words and may they bring you comfort in despair, hapiness, anger or love.
I will always pretend certain things don’t matter, when they actually mean EVERYTHING to me. But I will most likely write about them, so pay attention.