This is official unofficial list! If I forget something, do try and forgive me, love.
A Friendly Bathroom!
Going to the bathroom in a local restaurant, bar, or supermarket can be a harrowing affair. We’ve all seen when some sickos try to film us when we are at our most vulnerable – on the damn toilet. BISH, get the MF camera out my face. I will literally pee on you! Anyhoo, every now and then an ally walks in and makes our decade! (maybe our century) A compliment on our makeup, outfit, or style while standing together at the mirror is exhilarating. Please more of this!
Omfg! The day we get our prescription for HRT the birds sing, the sky is blue, there are rainbows in every corner of the sky! Unicorns dance in our mind’s eye! This is the single most amazing moment of our lives and all the suffering and thinking and worrying subsides for a brief moment in time. That piece of paper is like dove chocolate shavings in a bottomless banana split. Tell us congrats! Don’t be a dick.
The Kind Mirror
Makeup on – hair styled – nails perfect – a sexy outfit – we creep into the bathroom or bedroom or whatever room that god forsaken mirror is and take a little gander. But this time it’s different, it’s like “Hey Girl!” On this day you’ve won, you’ve passed the test. You know you look good! You fine!
The First “Ma’am”-ing
You’ve been misgendered time and time again. You may have even kicked signs down at a local GameStop due to the disrespectful, hurtful, malicious, comments of others. Hell, we all wanted to throat punch a bitch, so gurl I’m with you! I refrain… but that first time or maybe every time someone says, “can I help you ma’am” I instantly orgasm. I don’t moan because strangers are around! But my body shakes and titilates with overwhelming joy. Keep calling me Ma’am – I dare you, boo.
Just like a well executed story a store has two sides. One side is full of dull gray droll colors with predictable pleats and garments meant to scream the word – Booooooooring! Yep you guessed it, the infamous Men’s department. Puke. Gross. Ew. Polo shirts and flannels for miles. Kill me now, please.
The other side is the equivalent of walking out of a desert into a lush forest in the middle of Autumn. Every color of the spectrum! Frilly lace and flowing garments arranged in such a way. It’s the skittles of eye candy! Skittles are the best, prove me wrong! The first time I went shopping on that side of the store was like gaining access to a secret club where everyone was happy – sipping on drinks with tiny umbrellas engaging in delightful conversations! Love! Love! Love!
I hope you agree with my lists – if not add what gets you excited in the comments.