What does “passing” mean to me?

I’ve thought a lot about this question over the last few months. As I started my transition I had an end goal set for myself. It was simple – “kind of pass” because most of us want to pass. Don’t we? At my advanced age it would literally take one hundred thousand dollars for me to accomplish my original goal. I don’t have that kind of money! Do you?

When I say advanced age, I’m only forty-four years old. But as all us girls know, that’s a late start. Testosterone has already messed up our bodies. If you’re like me, male pattern baldness has not only set in – it’s moved in and won’t pay any attention to my eviction notices. Get the hell out of here! It’s never too late, and I don’t want to discourage anyone because that’s not the point of this article. In my case – goals had to change.

So to me “passing” is a now a stretch goal. Of course I want to look young and sprite, but I’m not. I’m still who I am and nobody can take that away from me. Passing isn’t so important any longer. The more I speak to the readers of my page, and family members who accept me – the less it matters. Be supportive of each other and respect all trans people.

I’ve noticed sometimes the ones who pass easily get upset with the ones who don’t. That’s the equivalent of poking fun at someone society deems is unattractive. I don’t care what you think. Our community needs to come together and support ourselves fully. We are a minority in the world and we can’t afford to bicker amongst ourselves. I don’t care what you look like, you are beautiful and you are accepted.

If we stick together and show people our hearts, one day the world will come around. I truly believe that to be an accurate statement. Some of us may not live to see such days, but we can be catalysts for a brighter future for our community!

Love,

Raquel

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