Ordinary

They say we all learn from failure and it somehow propels us to another level or something. Accept the failure, work harder, and then you will eventually succeed.

What if some of us are destined for a life of failure? Not horrible, terrible, failure which creates lasting negative effects on your life. I’m speaking about just never getting over the hump. Like, climbing the side of the mountain and never reaching the summit!

Is it possible there are gate keepers whom decide which one of us will pass? Or not? Is it money that changes their minds? Or beauty? How do I borrow the keys for a little while?

I had plans ya know! I decided this ordinary life wasn’t for me any longer. It’s not fortune or fame I seek. I just want to make a difference in the world in some way. A name synonymous with love, acceptance, and community.

Every day my anger increases and I’m literally losing friends. Perhaps the changes in my body are also changing me into a different person. Core values have changed and I’ve no time for trivial squabbles.

I cannot be around negative people any longer. That someone who just sucks the life out of you drives me away. Is it in my destiny to assist someone else? Am I too focused? Is that even possible?

If you could see into your future, would you? I’m afraid my path leads to nowhere. Can a destiny be altered? If so, how do I do that? How do I even know if I’m good at what I do? Is there even a way to measure this?

Thoughts out loud. I will figure this out… Somehow.

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