You are beautiful, and accepted. Always.
Sometime in the distant future…
She leaps up in bed, taking short breaths then runs a hand through her sweat soaked golden hair. Night time hasn’t been kind over the past few weeks. The fear of going back to that place was terrifying. It had been nearly five years since the last “incident,” and Ivy finally seemed to have control of her emotions.
A gentle hand caresses her back, sprouting goosebumps all over her body. Ivy stares into the the cozy red satin sheet fighting back tears. A hand moves from her back up to a bare shoulder. Ivy reaches up and locks fingers, welcoming the comfort.
“Babe, you okay?” whispers a voice.
Ivy takes a deep breath, exhales and responds, “yeah, I’m good. Just hold me. Please.” Bright red lines in her eyes surrounded a pool of sapphire. You have your mothers eyes, they would say. But not many knew her real mother before she took her own life.
“Of course. Nightmares, again?” A woman’s voice concerned.
“Yeah. It’s just hard to keep it together lately,” Ivy replies. Grace, who has known Ivy for almost three years, didn’t exactly know how difficult it truly was. One slip, just one outburst could end in catastrophe.
Grace slides and wraps her legs around her torso, resting her head on Ivy’s back. She had sensed for the longest time there was something deeper going on, but didn’t want to pry.
Grace was that kind of perfect personality who never asked too many questions. Trust and understanding we’re atop the list of ideals she held dear. She assumed when Ivy was good an and ready she would speak about it. However, because of nightly terrors – she felt it was time she knew just a bit more.
“Ivy, babe, you know I love you and trust you. But you’re gonna have to let me in on some of this. It’s having a devastating effect on you and I’m worried. Maybe I can help?”
Ivy spins around and presses her lips against Graces weak spot – her earlobes. She circles her tongue around and grabs the back of her lovers neck pressing just a little bit harder. Grace moans with approval but then quickly pulls away.
“Um. No. Not this time Missy. Yes, I want you everyday. Yes, I’m wetter than a damn sponge. But, I think it’s time we talked. For really real,” demands Grace.
Ivy pauses, rolls her eyes, and moves to the other side of the bed. She lies back down, rests her head on a pillow and turns her back.
“Grace,” she mutters, “I don’t want-“
“-want to talk about it,” she interrupts, “I know. I know. Look, you know me. I don’t ask too many questions. I love you deeply and trust you. But I mean let’s face it, I know very little about what happened. I know your mom killed herself when you were just a baby. Ivy, let me in I promise I’ll understand. You know I will.
Ivy grits her teeth and snaps, “do NOT mention my mother. None of this has anything to do with her. I can’t go back there. I-I won’t!”
“What does that even mean?” Grace jumped up out of the bed and walked around to face her. “Go back there? Where? Tell me. Please.”
Ivy shook her head and lent grace a blank stare. She muttered words of encouragement to herself, “no, no, no. I won’t go back. You don’t need this Ivy. None of it.”
Maybe, it’s time for me to leave. If you can’t trust me than who can you trust?”
“Fuck! Grace. You’ve been so good for me. You know I don’t like taking about my past. Please don’t say these things. I don’t know if I can handle it!” She shoots up out of bed and paces the room.
Grace flails her arms in the air and shouts,” THEN. Tell me. Something. Anything.”
“I’m an empath. Okay. There. That’s something,” Ivy blurts.
“Oh babe,” Grace chuckles, “a ton of people are like that. Like, they know when others are sad or in pain. It’s no big deal. Is that all that’s bothering you?”
Ivy scowls at her girlfriend. She clenched her fists and wails, “No! This is different. If I lose control, I don’t know where it would take me. It’s not like one of those people who think they know a little something. Boo-hoo, I can feel sadness. No! I can do things. Things no one else can do.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means it’s time for bed,” Ivy walked over and turned off the lights. Not another word was spoken by either of them. She laid there for the remainder of the night with her eyes open battling her emotions. Grace fell back asleep soon after.
What do you think?
Any edits you would suggest?